writing update 1
25 Oct 2024
I haven’t been very sure about what to write here lately, so I figured I could start keeping a log of my writing journey as a way to hold myself accountable for what I’ve been doing and feeling about it. I would like to put these posts out regularly, but we’ll see how it goes. Or at least I will. I’m trying to embrace the idea of good enough here. Every time I’ve sat down to try writing a blog post, I always stop myself, feeling like it won’t be polished or interesting, even though I know more practice with writing them will make it easier.
So today, a writing update. Good enough, I hope.
In any case, I actually have managed to do a decent amount of writing lately after going through a spell of self-doubt and self-sabotage. It’s been refreshing to finally feel a little more like I know what I’m doing. The switch from fanfiction to original has been quite a journey. I had forgotten what the experience of flailing felt like. I hope I feel even more confident in what I’m accomplishing soon, because it doesn’t feel anywhere near as natural as writing fic has always been. I know there are craft reasons for it to be harder, but simply coming up with ideas and plot points is also more difficult than it ought to be, though I’ve enjoyed the practice.
My biggest struggle recently has involved feeling like my idea isn’t good enough to commit to, which has led me to spinning my wheels far longer than I wanted to. I worry sometimes that the only thing keeping me remotely on track is the cover I commissioned for it from a friend. It’s become a lodestar to me as I finesse my idea, and I’m so glad to have it so I can’t get too far off from the original impetus for the story. Otherwise, I feel I will wind up dealing with shiny idea syndrome, flitting from idea to idea, fleshing them out, and then abandoning them when the writing gets hard. As it is, I’ve flitted from variations on my current idea, trashing written chapters and outlines and starting from square three or four. I suppose that’s better than starting from square one, but not by much.
But I’ve finally reached a point where I’m happy with the idea. Everything is flowing much more smoothly and my outline is satisfying to me. I’ve been putting plenty of hours into the work, and I think it shows. I can’t wait to begin sharing it with the world.
My next step in addition to working on the chapters themselves is to further iterate on the ending, though my plans for that are still pretty far out. I already know where I want to end up, but I’m having trouble getting there. I hope to have that worked out by the end of the weekend, and if not worked out, then I’d like to have something good enough in place for the time being.